Why You Should Not Be A Bridesmaid

Hello dearest readers

I am writing this post to warn you.

I am a bridesmaid in The Boyfriends sisters wedding next Saturday and to be honest, I don't think I can hack being a bridesmaid again.

Your life will become about nothing but The Wedding from the moment you are asked, till the time you leave the reception - and possibly after. 


Yes thats right. NOTHING but The Wedding. You have to rearrange your life to fit in with The Wedding preparations. Bride gives you 2 hours notice to do some invites? Better drop what you're doing. Want to shave your legs? Not so fast - if you do, they will be the improper length for waxing the week before. Better to be a furball.

It will be bloody expensive.

Yes, yes it's priceless being asked to stand next to your friend/sister whoever while they get married. But, especially if the bride and groom are on a tight budget themselves, you will need to fork out a shedload of money. Example:
Dress (that you will NEVER wear again) - $300
Alterations - $125
Shoes - $80
Spray tan x 2 (tester and real) - $120
Hair - $50
Makeup - $50
Underwear - $50
Hens night - $55 (not including other drinks)
Kitchen tea - $40
Waxing - $70
TOTAL - $940

Now I could have got away with not doing the waxing (defuzzing myself) and 1 spray tan. Still thats a total of $810 dollars that came out of MY pocket for someone else to feel good. I'm a student dude.

The lovely person known as The Bride, will turn crazy. Actually crazy. Don't say 'oh but we are such good friends and she's so level headed and lovely'. Its a lie. It will turn bat shit crazy.


I have been told to gain weight, cut a fringe in my hair, dye my hair blonde, put shit in my bra to make my boobs bigger. I have been lectured on not wearing jewellery to the wedding (apparently its a hard concept to grasp), not going orange from a spray tan (because apparently I desire to look like an Oompa Loompa), on making sure my hands are nice. Let it be known, I have done none of these things.

You have to deal with the other members of the bridal party - who will also go bat shit crazy.


Maid of honours are really good like that.

By the time The Wedding comes around, you will be so sick of it, it will be hard to enjoy.


One of the biggest lies ever told to bridesmaids is - you can shorten it and wear it again!


Bull crap you can.


So you see. Next time you are at a wedding and think, I wish I was a bridesmaid, or I should have been a bridesmaid, or even, gee those bridesmaid look lovely and happy - think again. It has been utter hell to get here (not to mention airfares to hell are getting expensive), and you should be glad that you can rock up in a dress from your wardrobe, in a colour you like, with shoes you like, and have a great time without having to deal with Bridezilla over there.

Ten Guilty Pleasures

C'mon. Everyone has them. Don't deny you don't. Some are worse than others, but we don't judge here. I want someone to guest post for me, so email me with your 10 guilty pleasures  and a picture of yourself at your happiest, and the best one will be posted on here - linked back to you of course! 
I'll start you off. My 10 guilty pleasures are:

1. - Watching back to back episodes of Friends, wrapped in my doona on the couch
2. - Licking my finger and putting it in chicken salt, and eating the chicken salt straight (I know, I know, heart attack here I come)
3. - Tea with milk and sugar - I realise this is normal for some people, but I was always taught growing up that 'you don't put sugar in tea' - so whenever I need a comforting drink, thats it. 
4. - Taking my hot water bottle to work with me
5. - Putting on a pair of heels (no matter what I'm wearing), closing my blinds, blasting some music and dancing in the mirror - while lip synching and thinking I'm hot stuff by the way :)
6. - Deliberately setting my alarm 25 minutes early, so I can feel like I'm being rebellious and 'sleeping in', even though I'm right on time. 
7. - Blogging. I know, weird right? But I don't really tell people I blog, and if I do, I never give them the address. I don't advertise or put my posts on FB and The Boyfriend always refers to it as "blogging" (yes with the hand quotations). I feel like its my thing, and maybe the bloggy me is different from the real-life me. I think I'm more honest here, and I'm not sure I want others to see that. 
8. - Sleeping with 2 doonas. If The Boyfriend stays over, I feel that this just makes good sense, as I tend to be a blanket-hogger, but even when I'm alone, nothing feels better than being all tangled up in blankets. So snuggly.
9. - I never make my bed. Maybe this is an age thing, but I prefer getting into an unmade bed. As before, its just snugglier. 
10. - Researching wedding stuff. No, I'm not engaged, and don't plan on being engaged for a long time, but just the whole thing fascinates me. I'd love to get married somewhere funky and different, like Perth Zoo, or an aquarium. And bridesmaid dress - I have in my head exactly what colour they will be - fuschia a.k.a HOT PINK. 

So there you have it. My 10 guilty pleasures. Let me know yours by emailing me at freeman.ashleigh@gmail.com, along with a pic. 

I Do.. or Do I?

Just want to start off this post by saying I am so happy and there is not an ounce of criticism or judging going on, more a general wonderingment (word courtesy of Ross Geller - Friends Season 1 Episode 7, The One With The Blackout). 


And maybe a touch of jealousy. 


"I mean I’m probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean what’s 2%? That’s nothing" - Rachel Green, Friends, Season 6, Episode 24, The One With The Proposal


I just got told that two of my friends just got engaged. I knew it was going to happen, as they've been together for a bit longer than The Boyfriend and I, I just didn't think it would be so soon. I am so happy for them, as they really are meant to be together. 


And their story! Man, the proposal story is just amazing. This is how all men should propose (no, don't start and being all like 'but that wouldn't be special then, the whole reason its special is because no one does it'). I've never heard anything so romantic in my life. 


This is the story how it was told to me - "it was our anniversary yesterday and we were at this bush retreat and we were up at 1am (the time he asked me out) and we were outside star gazing and I opened my present and he named a star marry me ________"


I kid you not. 


Ok, so maybe I'm more like 90% happy and 10% jealous. 


So the question I want to put to you now is: what age should someone get engaged? She is 21 and he is 23. Everyone is so happy for them. However, I know if I got engaged now (while I am 21 and The Boyfriend is 23), all I would get from my family is disappointment. They all say, oh you've got bigger things to do in your life first, your too young etc. But everyone I know, who is around this age, and gets engaged, gets absolutely nothing but love and happiness wished upon them. 


So I'm not so much jealous of the engagement, more of the fact that their families seem to be more accepting and allow them to make their own decision and not judge them for it. Yes I know I have big things ahead of me, but why can't I do those same things as a Mrs? (Not that I would be changing my name)


When I told my mother today that my friends got engaged, the only response I got was 'mmmm'. She has told me before that she would be very disappointed if I got engaged. My grandfather made a joke about me being next, and my grandmother shut him down immediately 'Ashleigh has bigger things to do first'. 


Why should they have the right to comment on my relationship? The Boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, if and when we decide to get engaged, everybody is just going to have be happy for us. But I find it sad that I need to have such a defiant attitude towards it. I don't think I would even want to tell my family, because I would be too scared about what they would say. 


I'm not the kind of person who would get married and become Mrs Wifey, bearing many children and taking care of the home. That is not me at all. But I am the kind of person who would like to make a public declaration of love to The Boyfriend, one day. 


I'm not saying I want to be engaged right now. I want to live with The Boyfriend, and just with The Boyfriend, first - make sure he won't want to kill me! Probably want to finish uni first. But when I finish uni I will only be 22 - is that still too young, according to my family? How do you even judge whether or not someone is 'too young'? Is there a 'cut-off' or does it vary from couple to couple? 


It makes me laugh a bit actually, because I have always been a bit more mature, and settled than other people I know. I have had 2 long term relationships over my life, and only done a bit of dating in between. But I would far rather my life, than a single life - the thought of going through what some of my friends go through horrifies me. Yes, going on dates would be fun, but the additional stress of 'will he call, did I sleep with him too early, is he using me'? No thanks. 


I know I sound like one of those snotty couples who you probably can't stand. Sorry about that. I try really hard not to be like that, I know my friends hate it. 


Anyway, The Boyfriend and I do have a bit of news! We are moving in together in July - with one of my friends - which is something I have wanted for a long time, and I'm so happy its finally happening. 


Much love
Ashleigh 


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